Right Now

"I'm a low brow but I rock a little know how
No time for the piggies or the hoosegow,
Get smart get down with the pow wow,
Never been a better time than right now."

-The Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Give it Away."

Tonight, I was overwhlemed with the feeling that I had something to share with people I love. Something to share with the world. Something to add, contribute, give. Apparently, I rock a little know how.

What do I know?

I know how shit can hit the fan. I know how you can have your whole life planned out to the last little detail... and then have it all melt away. Like you're holding something made of solid brick that suddenly turns to sand... and you watch it sift through your fingers.

I know how you can keep up a charade. I know you can pretend that life is this perfect amazing thing, when underneath the facade of perfection it's this big old stinking mess. I used to live that lie everyday.

Someone very dear to me revealed that she has been living a lie for a long time. My dearest, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry that you have to go through this. I'm so sorry that the vision that you have had for your life is being torn apart. The pain, the panic, the fear... I don't envy what you're going through right now, because I've been there, and I know how scary it is.

I've had my whole world stripped away. I've had every ounce of what I believed, what I thought was true, taken from me without even an apology. I know what it feels like to lose everything. Everything. Every. Last. Thing. That. I. Thought. Was. True.

And here I am: days, weeks, months, years later. Alive. Breathing. Kicking. Thriving. Better: whole.

I wasn't always this way. I had to pick up the pieces and put my world back together. I had to gather the sand grain by grain and reassemble my life.

If there is anything that I can share with you, it's this: the sun will rise tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after. And the day after. And you will be there to watch it happen. And each day that that the sun rises you will discover something new about the world that you didn't know before. You will discover something new about yourself. You will learn, as I did, how to redirect that energy that you've been spending keeping up the charade.

Just imagine what you could do.

You are blessed, because you are an amazing woman. And though you are afraid now because of what you may face in the days, weeks, and years to come, I promise there is good. There is good in you. There is good in others. There is good in the unknown future.

And another thing:

Love is not rationed only to those who are young or without a past. Love is not reserved for those who are perfect. Dear heavens, I'd be desperate if I thought I had to be perfect to be loved. Love comes in many forms, and it will come in exactly the form that you need right now. Maybe it comes in the form of me!