I'll Be Your Friend

"Lean on me when you're not strong,
and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on.
For, it won't be long
till I'm going to need
Somebody to lean on."

--Bill Withers, "Lean on Me."

I was running with my sister the other day as we visited our parents in Wisconsin, and we were talking about friendship. I should interject that I LOVE running with my sister. It is something I never even thought to hope for.

Anyway.

My sister has always been very good at maintaining a network of friends. As long as I can remember, she's had a group, a gang, a posse. She's always had at least two gay male advisors. At times when I was younger, I was envious. But over the years I think I've learned a lot from her.

"To have a friend, you have to be a friend," she said on Sunday as we ran. I thought I knew what that meant when I was a kid--always trying to make other people happy, trying never to be a burden. "And you have to let them know you aren't perfect all the time, too."

Oh, the wisdom of my older sister. I am so lucky to have her.





The context of our converstaion was different from a situation I am facing right now, but completely relatable.

I think I am in the process of losing an old friend.

The sad part is that neither one of us has been a good friend to each other in the past year. I acknowledged my part of it, and I asked forgiveness. She did neither. There's not much else I can do or say to salvage this relationship if she wants out.

So. What will I do?

I will try to show each and every person who I am blessed to have in my life how much they mean to me. I will make plans to see them, support them in their passions, and be there when they need me. I will lean on them when I'm in need. I will show them my love and gratitude for being in my life.

I will be grateful that I learned how to be a friend.

Dedicated to: Emily, Erin, Marni, Ashley, Christina, Stef, Steph, Heather, Annie, Ann, Mandi, Kris, Ben, Christy, Nan...

And even the friend I think I'm losing. You know who you are, and I will always love you.


Some other photos from the trip:



Me, after getting my butt kicked by giant men on wicked hills:



Burying Ben in the sand! Nice work, Papa Dan:




Pontoon Boat Ride Family Fun




Tossing the kid in the lake!

Spinning

"Take me back, just before I was spinning.
Take me back, just before I got dizzy."

--Dave Matthews Band, "So Damn Lucky."

So, once I was in a bike shop in Madison, Wisconsin, and I picked up a book for training for an IronMan triathlon. The schedule was something like "Get up at 4 AM, ride your bike for way too long, go to work, take a nap, eat some food, go back to work, go for a long run, and go to bed at 9 PM."

I remember laughing out loud.

I also remember volunteering for the Ford IronMan Wisconsin 3 times and watching people get off of their bikes with such blank stares, you knew there was virtually no brain function except that which kept them breathing.

This one dude dismounted his bike (which he had been on for 112 miles), and said, "Where do I go now?"

Someone guided him to T2. I remember thinking... "You have to go run a MARATHON NOW!!!!!!!"

Currently, I am training for a Half IronMan. The math: a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike, and then a half marathon. My race is in 29 days. I got up this morning at 5 AM, biked to the gym, dropped of my gym bag, and then pounded out 42 miles at Hains Point before heading back, dousing myself with water and perfume, throwing on some clothes, and then collapsing at my desk, where I've been for the past 6 hours.

I AM BRAINDEAD. I know that someone will tell me I'm not getting the proper nutrition, and that's why I'm so braindead. I don't want to overcaffeinate myself.

And yet.

This weekend I got tempted--truly tempted, for the first time--to do a full IronMan.

Someone, please remind me of this moment when I am about to put $500 down on a race that will, for all intents and purposes, ruin my life.

Please.